It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
