Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
