halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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