Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
