Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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