I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
