Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just had sex on a roof
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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