They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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