Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
