maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
