Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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