its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
