Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
