Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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