And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
