I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
