based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
