i think my tv is drunk
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
