The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I need to sanitize my soul.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
