ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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