Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Every concussion has its silver lining
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Randomize
