I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
