if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize