let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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