No stitches, just platelets and will power
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
