You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
