Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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