So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
