Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
