how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
