Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dignity is for republicans.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize