That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
