Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
