Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
