Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
