it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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