and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
