I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
