Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
