i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
