i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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