What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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