im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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