hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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