i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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