Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
