i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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