grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
