he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
