Don't you send me to vm
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
