Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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