Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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