Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
