didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
