You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
