i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
