YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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