got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
