Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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